Sexy Librarian

As of late I've been wearing a LOT of INSIDE clothes. Gym clothes. Yoga pants. Running shoes. Sweats. So today when I finally got the chance to go out IN PUBLIC, even running errands, I felt the need for a little spit and polish, if you'll pardon the expression. I ended up wearing a checkered black and blue dress that was short-- I had to wear shorts under it.. I paired this with some black knee high socks, my black wing tip shoes, and of course, my new slightly larger glasses. The ensemble was a little risque, a little schoolgirl. With my hair down and gigantically poofy (or as we say, serious) I was feelin' pretty styled.

"Let me put on my slightly larger glasses!"

That's when I walked into the little library close to my house. I strolled up casually to the lady at the front desk: "Excuse me? I reserved a book online about...10 minutes ago. Would it be on the reserved shelf already, or would it still be out with the other books?"
Short dress. Knee high socks. Hipster goggles. This woman thought I was a BIMBO: "....Did you reserve it at /this/ library?"
"Uhm. Yes."
She told me it was probably still on the shelf.

I wandered over to look for this particular fitness book. After checking for a good three minutes (small library), I divined that it wasn't there. I even checked the new arrivals: nada. So I returned to the desk, dreading every step. "Uhm...I couldn't find it." She turned her attention the computer, fingers set of the keyboard.
"What is the name of the book you're looking for?"

"It's a fitness book," I assured her, then with extreme hesitation and a lowered voice, "it's called..... Look Better Naked." She gave me THE LOOK. The one you get when you know someone is judging you. In my mind, she was sure I was a porn star in training. Next I was going to ask for the Little Book of Big Blow Jobs. After a few seconds of searching on her computer, she pointed out that when there isn't enough room for books, they put them on TOP of the shelves. Something I had failed to notice until I made myself red in the face by asking this SLIGHTLY elderly, bespectacled librarian for help finding infamous naughty books. She assured me she would help me find the book if I couldn't and I walked over there, past two rows of people on computers, who may or may not have heard the entire conversation.

There, sitting on top of the shelf was Look Better Naked, a book by the editor of Women's Healthy magazine that covers everything from nutrition and workouts to skin care and confidence boosting. My only checkmate was that instead of signing my own books out at the kiosk, I proudly presented them to the librarian at the desk.

So in a few weeks I will in fact look, or at least FEEL better in the buff. But you're just gonna have to take my word for it. Until my professional porn career launches, there just won't be any nude pictures of me on the internet. (To Mom finding this blog and seeing this post, somehow: JUST KIDDING.)