POST: The Sixtieth

Post the sixtieth: wherein the author of the blog must acknowledge her own vajayjay and the fact that it sometimes makes her do stupid things. Or shall I say, it ENTITLES her to do stupid things.
Let us start at the beginning.

I was up early today to take Kacy to work, and then to go to work myself. I haven't seen 7AM since the run, or my last morning shift, but I don't REALLY remember. Imagine my dismay when I cruised into work at 8 and my manager told me that I was two hours early. That I wasn't supposed to start until 10! D'oh! Since they're trying to keep hours under control, working early wasn't an option and I wasn't about to drive back to my house only to come back. Instead, I popped into the Starbucks down the street, got a latte and sat out on the patio in the early morning sunshine. I sipped it and enjoyed and read the Runner's World magazine I had gotten from the library. It kicked me in the butt and inspired me with running inspiration.

That's when I made the ultimate mistake. I went shopping. On a day when I felt everything was taking a downward slant, I decided sunshine therapy was just NOT enough, and retail therapy might help out. I wandered into a nearby Winners, and since I've been on the prowl for a nice larger bag for a little while, so I went right to purses before anything else caught my eye. That's when I was sucker punched by gender clichés. I saw THIS bag. Subtle, classy, a little badass and a little hippie. Matt and Nat, although two weeks ago were completely unknown to me, make their bags out of recycled materials and vegan leather. It was PERFECT. It was GORGEOUS. The snap open and close hinted at something classic. It was also 74$ on sale, something I never in my LIFE would have spent on a bag. But girls, if the media is to be believed, have many vices, whether it's bags or shoes or hats or...anything. This bag was different. SPECIAL, OKAY?


(Source.)I left without it, but I went to work trying to find ways to justify it to myself. I started thinking about how I WOULD be working two jobs soon. About how I graduated recently, and maybe, just maybe I could buy myself a little gifty-wift? I started working out a system of how many dollars a kilometer was worth, and paying it off to myself by running those kilometers at the gym. This bag was literally following me around as I went about my work day. I don't know why. All I know is that when I clocked out, I drove right back to that Winners, made a beeline for the bags and GASP. My prize was gone. It was GONE-- oh. No wait, someone had just moved it onto a different hook. I was both thrilled and horrified that it was still there. Because the idea had taken a mind of it's own, I had no choice in the matter, I was buying the gaddamn bag.

I marched into the line with some kind of resolve, a grim look on my face, like I'd been issued a dangerous task. I was actually in the line for a few minutes, giving me a few chances to bail. But I couldn't bail, no. I was a woman, fulfilling my destiny. Buying the most expensive bag I'd ever even CONSIDERED purchasing. On the regular, I am a cheapskate. I have trouble spending 25$ on ANYTHING, let alone one measly bag. This was three times that.

When I got up to the counter, I regaled the story of my saga with the bag to the cashier. How I had seen it, loved it, been stalked by it, and then had returned to claim what was mine. It had to be some sort of ancestral story shared by my fellow vajayjays, because the other cashier looked over at me with big, sympathetic eyes and nodded slowly. "I had the same problem," she confessed with a wistful smile that made me think that HER bag was her one true love and they had been married last summer and now have a couple of lovely coin purses together.

When I swiped my credit card to pay for it, I didn't feel a thing. The guilt I usually associate with spending any money on almost anything was nowhere to be found. Girl sees bag. Girl loves bag. Girl sells soul for bag. I'll be sure to style it into an outfit so y'all can weigh in on my latest investment.

What've you treated yourself to/splurged on lately?