Blanket Burning

Awhile ago, I read a great post about the F word over at Bonjour Gazel. That's right, we're talking about FAT again. (If you haven't checked out Gazel's blog, do it. She has stellar taste and she writes eloquently about everything.) Basically, the summary of the post was that your weight and health is YOUR business, not anyone else's. Anyone who thinks it's their right to ask you how much you weigh, or judge you, or give you advice deserves a flip of a big different kind of F word.

I'm hoping to make something clear, because over the next couple of months, I'm going to be working out and losing some weight, building myself some healthy ass-kicking habits.
This is just what I need to do, personally.

I have come miles and miles in terms of understanding who I am and accepting myself and thinking I'm beautiful, but I still feel the need to get fit. This isn't because I want to look like a billboard or a girl in a perfume ad (bitch, please, curves are where it's at!), but I want to be more like me.

If watching TV teaches us anything, it's that apparently ALL fat people would be more beautiful if they lost weight. That they all secretly yearn to be thin, that they ALL eat badly. They all want to be saved by the church of skinny and cry on TV. Well, I'm calling complete BULLSHIT on that.

I have met and seen SO MANY amazing, beautiful, stylish, gorgeous people who just happen to be plus sized. They are loud and proud and they rock the world. These wonderful people have made me realize that being FAT isn't the issue. Personal confidence is the issue. If you want to be large or small it doesn't matter, EMBRACE yourself. Do what you want, no matter if that's running a 5K, eating a cupcake (or two!), or wearing horizontal stripes.

If I could walk around and NOT care about what other people thought about me, I wouldn't feel the need to go to the gym and work out. But that's not the person I am. I am glad I grew up fat, for all the pain it caused me, it also taught me a bunch of things I might NEVER have learned. I would be a different person. I learned compassion, humility and I'm sure it sparked a passion for writing in me, but there are some things that are still holding me back. Being fat also taught me anger, and bitterness and resentment, things I never want to feel towards people I truly care about. It brings out the worst in me, and the worst now needs to be taken care of. Now that I have realized the beauty that fat has given me, I need to handle the darkness it has given me too. Wow, cue the dramatic music...

I can't get over this idea, that what is holding me back from living my life is my own body. What's holding me back, is me. I've been told I have a bold personality, but there is a difference between volume, and action. I can live now, but I'd be hiding inside myself, wrapped in my security blanket. So that's what is going to have to happen now: bear hunting and blanket burning.

What do you love about yourself about today? What do you wish other people could learn to embrace more?