Q&A

Dear internet, I know I've been getting pretty dark and heavy with shit here the past couple of posts, so I feel it is my duty both to myself, as well as to the people I love and care about who read this blog, to record something positive, when there is indeed something to write about. To record for my own mind, a note that when things get tough, that doesn't mean they get impossible. Push.

I'm not feeling 100% better, to be honest, my anxiety is wobbly and my self esteem is not great, but these are things that can be worked on, and that's the point. That's fantastic. When we're weakened, we can rebuild. Today, I painted my toenails, just because I wanted to. For fun. Something completely unnecessary to my survival, something that plugged me into myself, my life, and I had the drive to do it. I slept because I was tired and not because I was sick of being awake and being alive and being aware of both.

I've turned a corner of some kind. I'm even back to worrying (lightly) about the choice I have to make between what career path I want to chase down right now, instead of shrugging it off because "whocareswhatyouchoosebecausenothingmatters."

I may not have the answers right now, but at least I'm asking questions. God, I can't wait to make up my mind, get even better, and get on with blogging about something else for once.