Cliff Diving

A journalist I follow on Twitter recently posted about needing either an intern or a clone to keep up with all the work he was being offered. I'm a fan of his work so I jokingly (kind of?) encouraged him to go the route of taking on an intern. To my shock, he replied back, asking if I had any experience in photography.

[Insert unnecessary heart explosion of excitement here.]

After freaking out (mildly) and deliberating with my mama for about five minutes, I told him that I HAD studied some photography in college, but I was not Andy Warhol. It's true-- in first year Media Arts, we had to learn photography, everything from f-stops, ISO and white balance to frame composition. Even though I have yet to hear back from this guy, and maybe I never will, this put my place on the board in heightened perspective.

As I pondered becoming the shy, awkward but resilient intern, my mind ran wild. What if he said no? What if he said yes? It was a cliff, and I was looking straight down at a big, ominous body of turbulent water.

I realized that, given the chance, I would jump. I would quit both my jobs, pack my life up and sleep on my friends' couch to intern in Toronto. My mind romanticized the crap out of it, all the while saying that, YES it would be hard but it could be worth it. After all, in all the stories about people who make something of themselves, it always starts with one stupid move. One jump into the cold water waiting below.

I know now that I'm ready to make a leap, even if that particular opportunity never becomes something, I'm ready to jump for something else. Fall for someone else. Do anything to chase a dream. This is coming from a girl who has quit two jobs and survived plenty of sobbing panic attacks due to work related anxiety. I would like to take a moment and relish this absolute moment of pure insanity brought about by the need to do something I love with my life. The moment in which I realize I would do something ridiculous in spite of, or maybe even because of mental afflictions. Hell. Yes.