I realized today, that really, truly, I'm in the last 20 pounds of what will be an 85-90 pound weight loss over the course of 4 years. I realize if I had put in a consistent, ass kicking effort and gone hard, maybe that time would be shorter... But I think it had to happen this way, slow and gradual and controlled, because otherwise, I wouldn't have learned anything. I wouldn't have been able to maintain it, or changed my habits or any of that stuff.
BUT-- now this is it. This is the final countdown. This is the last stretch of that long run-- I'm locking up, my back is hurting. I'm trying to open my stride, to rev the pace and burn glycogen like nobody's business. (For those of you not into the running: I'm full as hell but I want to finish that plate of nachos to get my picture on the truck stop wall.... Okay maybe that's a bad one. WHATEVER.)
Home stretch-- and despite my drive to run faster and farther, my willpower is bailing. I opened at work today, 5AM, and then after a short nap, awoke with the hunger of three angry bears, freshly roused from hibernation. I wandered into my kitchen.
Turns out there are a couple of things you don't want to eat an hour and a half before you decide to go outside in the SNOWY APRIL-ALMOST-MAY weather to bust ass. These include: Microwaveable long grain rice, gingersnaps, granola bites and a glass of skim milk. All of which I ate before I threw my gear on.
Three quarters of the way through my run, I was sitting on the line between discomfort and pain. My stomach was a cluster of muscle-y, throbbing, knots. I felt like I was going to hurl, though I knew it was just the ghost of the real thing. Phantom pukes, if you will.
The point of this story (I'm tired, I have a 5AM shift again, I'm cutting this short) is that I threw up in my mouth, completed the 5K in under 34 minutes, and felt great after.
Metaphors upon metaphors. Puke vs. plateaus of the motivational kind. Who knew bile could be so profound?
April 24, 2012
April 16, 2012
Sandwiches are beautiful.
Sandwiches are beautiful, sandwiches are fine
I like sandwiches, I eat them all the time.
I eat them for my supper
And I eat them for my lunch
If I had a hundred sandwiches, I'd eat them all at once!
Challenge: MAKE YOURSELF A SANDWICH.
Think about this one, literally and figuratively: if you were a sandwich, what would you be?
What kind of bread would you use? What sauces? What would be the body of the sandwich, and how does it all combine with your personality? Would it be hot or cold? Are you a submarine or a Monte Cristo? Maybe you're a morning person and you're a breakfast sandwich. Get creative. Get hungry.
Now make that sandwich. Take a picture and link it in the comment section. You have one week. GO.
• • • • • • • •
UHH. All I have to say is that I'm waiting a lot lately. I'm waiting for the light to change. I'm waiting for the number on the scale to drop. I'm waiting to hear from university, from possible summer job employers, from friends overseas. I'm waiting for the next work schedule, for the hairstylist to call. Mostly, I'm just waiting for the revelation of what comes next.
Exciting times. Coming soon (we hope!): Concordia Application results, my sandwich, adventures at Hot Docs and rants about closet cleaning.
I like sandwiches, I eat them all the time.
I eat them for my supper
And I eat them for my lunch
If I had a hundred sandwiches, I'd eat them all at once!
Challenge: MAKE YOURSELF A SANDWICH.
Think about this one, literally and figuratively: if you were a sandwich, what would you be?
What kind of bread would you use? What sauces? What would be the body of the sandwich, and how does it all combine with your personality? Would it be hot or cold? Are you a submarine or a Monte Cristo? Maybe you're a morning person and you're a breakfast sandwich. Get creative. Get hungry.
Now make that sandwich. Take a picture and link it in the comment section. You have one week. GO.
• • • • • • • •
UHH. All I have to say is that I'm waiting a lot lately. I'm waiting for the light to change. I'm waiting for the number on the scale to drop. I'm waiting to hear from university, from possible summer job employers, from friends overseas. I'm waiting for the next work schedule, for the hairstylist to call. Mostly, I'm just waiting for the revelation of what comes next.
Exciting times. Coming soon (we hope!): Concordia Application results, my sandwich, adventures at Hot Docs and rants about closet cleaning.
April 12, 2012
Stone Feathers
EDIT: If this post is a mess, it's because I just basically hurled my feelings at the wall and wrote whatever stuck. It's raw and real that way. So...there.
I had a good 5K run today. I've improved 4:04 minutes since the Classic last June!
I'm excited to do it again this year. In the past couple of weeks, running outdoors has become a mainstay. I can run longer, take hills easier, and I even have to pick up my speed at times because I realize I'm running gently, breathing easy. Run hard. That's all.
One day, my fitness goal is to run 5K in under half an hour. Until then, I have a couple of races to keep me on my toes, and to give me something to fight for. One being the Waterloo Classic, and the second one, being a run for a good cause: the Pride and Remembrance Run 5K. (GAYS AND RUNNING? SIGN ME UP!...Oh. Wait. I totally already did dat.)
It's the Saturday before Pride Parade Sunday and donations this year are going to LGBT Youth Line (which I already volunteer for as a blogger) and HALCO. It's really a worthy cause and I'm thrilled to be a part of it. In fact, I'm already looking forward to having a good dash! If you're in the Toronto area and you want to sign up or want more info, you can check out details: here.
And if you're interested in contributing, I'm accepting pledges here...every little bit helps.
My motto for this run is Give Them Hope. It's kind of become a mini campaign in my head. In my daydreams, I see big change and customized t-shirts and video entries and guest bloggers. I know that I'm one person, and that maybe this dream or this micro-crusade of mine never gets off of the ground, but I know that if nothing else, I'll be running. I'll be doing my part.
I'm running for myself: When I run, I shatter the barriers of my own expectations. When I look at where I'm going and the miles that I have come to be where I am, I'm on wings. Lifted, when I used to be carved of heavy stone, threatening to crumble into nothing. I stop using the words 'I can't' and instead say, 'I will.' I've earned EVERY SINGLE STEP that I've taken across hard ground, across the sidewalks in my neighborhood, and across finish lines. When I run-- I am more than I have ever imagined I could be. The pain and the speed and the aches and the tears are worth the power and the animal joy that comes when I find myself exhausted, but gunning to the finish. When I'm out of life and motive, but I get up the next day, run again, and keep on living. I'm romanticizing it hard, yeah but... shit. It's true. All of it. It's my hope.
I'm running for others: Harvey Milk said it best. Without hope, the us's give up. I talk about him here time and time again, because he's right. It is SO important that people understand their power is their potential. Participating in the run also supports the gay community in Toronto and the idea that we are here to take care of each other. Love one another. Potential as power is crucial, but it is even more important, I think, to feel like part of something, part of a community. A community is power, and potential, and it's all based off of love. When I run on June 30th, I'm going to be putting out every step because of love. Because I want to spread the love, open my heart to the world and send a message across the globe. You're not alone. You're beautiful and you're loved. I'm not the only one who feels this way. And when you spread that love and you give them hope, you turn stone to feathers, and chains to wings.
....That's all I'd want for someone else, too.
I had a good 5K run today. I've improved 4:04 minutes since the Classic last June!
I'm excited to do it again this year. In the past couple of weeks, running outdoors has become a mainstay. I can run longer, take hills easier, and I even have to pick up my speed at times because I realize I'm running gently, breathing easy. Run hard. That's all.
One day, my fitness goal is to run 5K in under half an hour. Until then, I have a couple of races to keep me on my toes, and to give me something to fight for. One being the Waterloo Classic, and the second one, being a run for a good cause: the Pride and Remembrance Run 5K. (GAYS AND RUNNING? SIGN ME UP!...Oh. Wait. I totally already did dat.)
It's the Saturday before Pride Parade Sunday and donations this year are going to LGBT Youth Line (which I already volunteer for as a blogger) and HALCO. It's really a worthy cause and I'm thrilled to be a part of it. In fact, I'm already looking forward to having a good dash! If you're in the Toronto area and you want to sign up or want more info, you can check out details: here.
And if you're interested in contributing, I'm accepting pledges here...every little bit helps.
My motto for this run is Give Them Hope. It's kind of become a mini campaign in my head. In my daydreams, I see big change and customized t-shirts and video entries and guest bloggers. I know that I'm one person, and that maybe this dream or this micro-crusade of mine never gets off of the ground, but I know that if nothing else, I'll be running. I'll be doing my part.
I'm running for myself: When I run, I shatter the barriers of my own expectations. When I look at where I'm going and the miles that I have come to be where I am, I'm on wings. Lifted, when I used to be carved of heavy stone, threatening to crumble into nothing. I stop using the words 'I can't' and instead say, 'I will.' I've earned EVERY SINGLE STEP that I've taken across hard ground, across the sidewalks in my neighborhood, and across finish lines. When I run-- I am more than I have ever imagined I could be. The pain and the speed and the aches and the tears are worth the power and the animal joy that comes when I find myself exhausted, but gunning to the finish. When I'm out of life and motive, but I get up the next day, run again, and keep on living. I'm romanticizing it hard, yeah but... shit. It's true. All of it. It's my hope.
I'm running for others: Harvey Milk said it best. Without hope, the us's give up. I talk about him here time and time again, because he's right. It is SO important that people understand their power is their potential. Participating in the run also supports the gay community in Toronto and the idea that we are here to take care of each other. Love one another. Potential as power is crucial, but it is even more important, I think, to feel like part of something, part of a community. A community is power, and potential, and it's all based off of love. When I run on June 30th, I'm going to be putting out every step because of love. Because I want to spread the love, open my heart to the world and send a message across the globe. You're not alone. You're beautiful and you're loved. I'm not the only one who feels this way. And when you spread that love and you give them hope, you turn stone to feathers, and chains to wings.
....That's all I'd want for someone else, too.
April 05, 2012
#Obsessed
I've been trying to cut back diet pop. I used to guzzle one to two cans of it a day... Sometimes more if I went out to eat at a restaurant for dinner. When you're running 3-4 times a week, you begin to better understand your relationship between food and your body. Your energy level. Your mood. Your digestive system. The importance of hydration. Pop is okay, as a treat, not an all the time thing. Certainly not an everyday thing, and certain not as a replacement for water. What's a beverage addict to do?
Enter iced tea. Sweet. Low calories. And tea is ACTUALLY good for you. (Just look at every study ever done...ever.) I got the idea to try this method at home after someone ordered a custom iced tea at Starbucks the other day. It's easy, quick, and the best part is, you brew it by the cup, so if you make a less than stellar batch, you only have one glass of it to get through. I made three or four different versions of this stuff yesterday alone. Tea is the new water. You heard it here first.
Home Brewed Iced Tea
Serves 1
What You'll Need AKA What I use. Do whatever you want:
Kettle or stove top... some way to boil water basically.
1 hot travel mug
1 cold drink tumbler
Sweetener of choice
2 tea bags of choice
ice, crushed or cubed
flavour variables: lemons, limes, mint leaves, orange slices... Go crazy.
Method:
1. Make tea. Make it in the hot travel mug (or some other heat resistant measuring container. I just use the travel mugs for volume accuracy.) If you want to add sweetener, add it to this step, so it dissolves. I use Stevia, but sugar, honey, anything goes. :3 Steep it like it's going out of style, to your own taste. Stronger the better to me, but I like FLAYVURRRR.
Notes on flavour: PLAY with your tea a little bit. If you want traditional iced tea, black tea works nicely. But then, one black tea bag and one blueberry tea bag is also good! Or peppermint tea and green tea. Run wild! Your options are only as limited as those countless boxes of tea you have stashed in your pantry.
2. Fill the cold tumbler (I just used an Iced Venti Starbucks cup) all the way up with as much ice as you can. When the hot tea is steeped to your liking, pour it into the cold tumbler, over the ice so it melts. You can either chill it further for a few minutes to make it uber cold, or drink as is.
3. Garnish with lemon, throw on some shades and go outside! Drink it. Repeat. REPEAT A LOT.
OTHER STUFF I'M OBSESSED WITH RIGHT NOW
Torches - Foster the People
The album by itself is a stellar piece of work, but I ran to it the other day and I found it so easy to open up my stride and fly faster and push harder. The energy challenges you to match it, but the light MGMT-esque techno keeps your mood light while you're tearing up the pavement.
So the running song of the week is:
Peeps
I talk a big game about eating healthy, but sometimes it's just to remind myself that I have to do it. With it being Easter weekend, I thought I had better come clean about my big obsession: PEEPS. I only find them around Easter, and then I buy them in a huge 99 cent package onslaught and spend the next few days sneaking off to devour them in small bursts of becoming sugar high. I hoard them away like a sugary squirell. And I admit it, I know Peeps don't taste like anything. (I've never found any flavoured ones. Sad.) They're marshmallows covered in SUGAR. They're literally so simple, but they have such a profound hold on me.
I found a recipe for homemade ones here, but since I work all weekend, I might have to run to the store and hunt down just one...sweet...package...
Ridiculously Photogenic Guy Meme
I am the last person to hear about this but..GAH, ADORABLE.
Enter iced tea. Sweet. Low calories. And tea is ACTUALLY good for you. (Just look at every study ever done...ever.) I got the idea to try this method at home after someone ordered a custom iced tea at Starbucks the other day. It's easy, quick, and the best part is, you brew it by the cup, so if you make a less than stellar batch, you only have one glass of it to get through. I made three or four different versions of this stuff yesterday alone. Tea is the new water. You heard it here first.
Home Brewed Iced Tea
Serves 1
What You'll Need AKA What I use. Do whatever you want:
Kettle or stove top... some way to boil water basically.
1 hot travel mug
1 cold drink tumbler
Sweetener of choice
2 tea bags of choice
ice, crushed or cubed
flavour variables: lemons, limes, mint leaves, orange slices... Go crazy.
Method:
1. Make tea. Make it in the hot travel mug (or some other heat resistant measuring container. I just use the travel mugs for volume accuracy.) If you want to add sweetener, add it to this step, so it dissolves. I use Stevia, but sugar, honey, anything goes. :3 Steep it like it's going out of style, to your own taste. Stronger the better to me, but I like FLAYVURRRR.
Notes on flavour: PLAY with your tea a little bit. If you want traditional iced tea, black tea works nicely. But then, one black tea bag and one blueberry tea bag is also good! Or peppermint tea and green tea. Run wild! Your options are only as limited as those countless boxes of tea you have stashed in your pantry.
2. Fill the cold tumbler (I just used an Iced Venti Starbucks cup) all the way up with as much ice as you can. When the hot tea is steeped to your liking, pour it into the cold tumbler, over the ice so it melts. You can either chill it further for a few minutes to make it uber cold, or drink as is.
3. Garnish with lemon, throw on some shades and go outside! Drink it. Repeat. REPEAT A LOT.
OTHER STUFF I'M OBSESSED WITH RIGHT NOW
Torches - Foster the People
The album by itself is a stellar piece of work, but I ran to it the other day and I found it so easy to open up my stride and fly faster and push harder. The energy challenges you to match it, but the light MGMT-esque techno keeps your mood light while you're tearing up the pavement.
So the running song of the week is:
Peeps
I talk a big game about eating healthy, but sometimes it's just to remind myself that I have to do it. With it being Easter weekend, I thought I had better come clean about my big obsession: PEEPS. I only find them around Easter, and then I buy them in a huge 99 cent package onslaught and spend the next few days sneaking off to devour them in small bursts of becoming sugar high. I hoard them away like a sugary squirell. And I admit it, I know Peeps don't taste like anything. (I've never found any flavoured ones. Sad.) They're marshmallows covered in SUGAR. They're literally so simple, but they have such a profound hold on me.
I found a recipe for homemade ones here, but since I work all weekend, I might have to run to the store and hunt down just one...sweet...package...
Ridiculously Photogenic Guy Meme
I am the last person to hear about this but..GAH, ADORABLE.
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