S is for special.
December 13, 2011
Christmas Special
Remember how I told y'all about our Christmas lights incident? The epic intentions of myself and my Jill? Well here's a picture of what our lights look like this year.
S is for special.
S is for special.
December 12, 2011
Surprise: My Hometown Doesn't Suck
For a long time, I really thought Waterloo had nothing going for it as a place.
Moving back here felt like a huge retrograde after college. I was born here, raised here with my parents. In he same house, same street, same everything.
However, it wasn't until I moved away to school that I feel like I did a lot of growing up. Living away from home, on your own, you find out a lot about everything from your own eating habits, sleeping patterns, house cleaning (or messing), and your own personality. You begin to know who you are as an independent, instead of part of your family unit.
So moving back to the town where I lived for 18 years felt like a pretty big setback. I've had a couple of big anxiety attacks concerning it. I've had all over grey days where I just felt as though I was stagnating here. "What am I DOING WITH MY LIFE!?" Style panic attacks.
The pattern of work. sleep. work. gym. computer. coffee was okay, but I'm like the Little Mermaid. I want more.
Well, recently, I found more. I've re-friended my buddy Dave, who I was tight with in the old days, all the way back in primary school. Then, we were in-class friends in the final years of high school. (Like work friends...but in Media and Writer's Craft instead.) Now we've started hanging out in real life, which is cool. Dave's world is world I didn't know existed in my boring home town. This is awesome for me, because it means I get invited to do cool things. Folks, I have officially gotten a life. Or maybe, half of a life.
Thursday, Bek and I ended up in Café Pyrus, a local vegan cafe. We watched four different bands rock the house. (One of them was Mark It Zero, Dave's band!) I've dabbled in listening to punk music in highschool, but the awesomeness of seeing it live is way better. Watching people do something they enjoy, and being really good at it... That makes me happy. The hardest part was being psychotically self aware that I was A) New on 'the scene' B) Psychotically self aware. I'm sure no one was paying me any mind, but I felt like I was standing outside of a big fish bowl. A big hip fish bowl, not yet swimming. The music was good, if nothing else! Eventually the tension rolled off and I was able to just sit back and enjoy.
I took 20 pictures, but this one of Junior Battles is the only one that was useable!
I bought two tapes and got a 7" album for free. (The guy selling Merch asked me if I had a record player like it was totally normal. Even my PARENTS think having vinyl is weird. I knew I was more or less home at that point.)
The very next night, we ended up at Comedy Night at the Princess Café. (Just assume we is Bek and I, because...well. It is.)
The Princess Cafe and Awkward Comedian Extraordinaire Ben Stager
For five bucks, we got to see a bunch of comics do stand up. Some of them were hilarious, others just chuckle worthy, but we had a good time all around. Nothing quite like laughing your butt off in a room full of people. I have such huge respect for live comedy, because I know it's SUPER hard to make people laugh. The pressure would probably make me barf.
ANYWAY, that's what I've been up to.
Also: going to the gym.
Also: wrapping gifts and watching Christmas specials. (Elf, Home Alone, Santa Claus is coming to Town...)
Also: ending this blog.
Moving back here felt like a huge retrograde after college. I was born here, raised here with my parents. In he same house, same street, same everything.
However, it wasn't until I moved away to school that I feel like I did a lot of growing up. Living away from home, on your own, you find out a lot about everything from your own eating habits, sleeping patterns, house cleaning (or messing), and your own personality. You begin to know who you are as an independent, instead of part of your family unit.
So moving back to the town where I lived for 18 years felt like a pretty big setback. I've had a couple of big anxiety attacks concerning it. I've had all over grey days where I just felt as though I was stagnating here. "What am I DOING WITH MY LIFE!?" Style panic attacks.
The pattern of work. sleep. work. gym. computer. coffee was okay, but I'm like the Little Mermaid. I want more.
Well, recently, I found more. I've re-friended my buddy Dave, who I was tight with in the old days, all the way back in primary school. Then, we were in-class friends in the final years of high school. (Like work friends...but in Media and Writer's Craft instead.) Now we've started hanging out in real life, which is cool. Dave's world is world I didn't know existed in my boring home town. This is awesome for me, because it means I get invited to do cool things. Folks, I have officially gotten a life. Or maybe, half of a life.
Thursday, Bek and I ended up in Café Pyrus, a local vegan cafe. We watched four different bands rock the house. (One of them was Mark It Zero, Dave's band!) I've dabbled in listening to punk music in highschool, but the awesomeness of seeing it live is way better. Watching people do something they enjoy, and being really good at it... That makes me happy. The hardest part was being psychotically self aware that I was A) New on 'the scene' B) Psychotically self aware. I'm sure no one was paying me any mind, but I felt like I was standing outside of a big fish bowl. A big hip fish bowl, not yet swimming. The music was good, if nothing else! Eventually the tension rolled off and I was able to just sit back and enjoy.
I took 20 pictures, but this one of Junior Battles is the only one that was useable!
I bought two tapes and got a 7" album for free. (The guy selling Merch asked me if I had a record player like it was totally normal. Even my PARENTS think having vinyl is weird. I knew I was more or less home at that point.)
The very next night, we ended up at Comedy Night at the Princess Café. (Just assume we is Bek and I, because...well. It is.)
The Princess Cafe and Awkward Comedian Extraordinaire Ben Stager
For five bucks, we got to see a bunch of comics do stand up. Some of them were hilarious, others just chuckle worthy, but we had a good time all around. Nothing quite like laughing your butt off in a room full of people. I have such huge respect for live comedy, because I know it's SUPER hard to make people laugh. The pressure would probably make me barf.
ANYWAY, that's what I've been up to.
Also: going to the gym.
Also: wrapping gifts and watching Christmas specials. (Elf, Home Alone, Santa Claus is coming to Town...)
Also: ending this blog.
December 08, 2011
Blue Christmas
With the snow JUST starting to come down in Waterloo, I might not be happy about that cold, but I'm feeling more excitement because of it. I can finally stop dreaming about a white Christmas and get into the spirit of the season.
If that's an excuse to bake cookies, wrap up in huge scarves, sing carols REALLY loudly and watch my favourite Christmas movies on TV, I'm all in. If that means getting to see my friends, get closer with my family and celebrate the one time of year where we actually seem to have traditions, count me in x100.
So if a little cold weather brings me closer to that holiday feeling, let it snow, baby.
The other day, Jill and I tried to bring a little more Christmas to the house. It was like the Life of Wiley pre-Christmas special sitcom. We had talked about just how our sad, single string of Christmas lights was NOT cutting it in terms of spreading holiday cheer. In fact, that lonesome line of coloured bulbs somehow just made us seem more sad about the whole thing.
Jill of course, has two modes: one being ALL-THE-WAY and the other being totally below zero. So she went out to the store and bought 90 bucks worth of Christmas lights, and we tag teamed decorating the outside of our house.
I think we, (she maybe more than I) had epic notions of what the lights would look like. We have a huge pine tree in the front, and in her mind in was filled from top to bottom with white lights, sparkling in the December darkness.
The front of our house has two Roman style columns in the front, and she wanted badly to wrap them in cascades of bright Christmas lights. First, we tried to wrap them, and the cords were not long enough. So we ended up using the column lights on this stumpy pine bush next to the porch that is shaped like the Grimmus. Then it was time to look after the tree.
It took about forty five minutes, an extension ladder, some freezing toes and lots of amputated pine tree twigs, but we finally got the lights up on the tree. By we, I mean I did a little bit, carried a ladder and watched Jill and my dad struggle to get the lights onto the branches high above our heads.
The end result was a little disappointing. It turns out 90 bucks buys you about five strings of Christmas lights. Not when enough to cover half of the GIANT ASS PINE TREE which is actually taller than our house. We managed a zig in the tree, even a ZAG, but it looks like a big S. We decided the S in the lights stands for 'Special' or 'Santa' depending on who you ask. Brilliant.
Maybe next year?
After that, we went out to the mall, but right before then I got Jill to take outfit pictures. You can even see the LITTLE TREE! (Which I now am calling The Grimmus. Forever.) I really like the brown in the boots and the the blue in the rest of the ENSEMBLE. (Fancy ass word, folks.)
Beanie: H&M
Dress: H&M (I bought it for 10 dollars. HOLLAH.)
Scarf: Thrifted
Cardigan: My mom's closet.
Tights: Who cares, they're black tights...
Boots: Aldo
What are y'all doing to get ready for Christmas?
If that's an excuse to bake cookies, wrap up in huge scarves, sing carols REALLY loudly and watch my favourite Christmas movies on TV, I'm all in. If that means getting to see my friends, get closer with my family and celebrate the one time of year where we actually seem to have traditions, count me in x100.
So if a little cold weather brings me closer to that holiday feeling, let it snow, baby.
The other day, Jill and I tried to bring a little more Christmas to the house. It was like the Life of Wiley pre-Christmas special sitcom. We had talked about just how our sad, single string of Christmas lights was NOT cutting it in terms of spreading holiday cheer. In fact, that lonesome line of coloured bulbs somehow just made us seem more sad about the whole thing.
Jill of course, has two modes: one being ALL-THE-WAY and the other being totally below zero. So she went out to the store and bought 90 bucks worth of Christmas lights, and we tag teamed decorating the outside of our house.
I think we, (she maybe more than I) had epic notions of what the lights would look like. We have a huge pine tree in the front, and in her mind in was filled from top to bottom with white lights, sparkling in the December darkness.
The front of our house has two Roman style columns in the front, and she wanted badly to wrap them in cascades of bright Christmas lights. First, we tried to wrap them, and the cords were not long enough. So we ended up using the column lights on this stumpy pine bush next to the porch that is shaped like the Grimmus. Then it was time to look after the tree.
It took about forty five minutes, an extension ladder, some freezing toes and lots of amputated pine tree twigs, but we finally got the lights up on the tree. By we, I mean I did a little bit, carried a ladder and watched Jill and my dad struggle to get the lights onto the branches high above our heads.
The end result was a little disappointing. It turns out 90 bucks buys you about five strings of Christmas lights. Not when enough to cover half of the GIANT ASS PINE TREE which is actually taller than our house. We managed a zig in the tree, even a ZAG, but it looks like a big S. We decided the S in the lights stands for 'Special' or 'Santa' depending on who you ask. Brilliant.
Maybe next year?
After that, we went out to the mall, but right before then I got Jill to take outfit pictures. You can even see the LITTLE TREE! (Which I now am calling The Grimmus. Forever.) I really like the brown in the boots and the the blue in the rest of the ENSEMBLE. (Fancy ass word, folks.)
Beanie: H&M
Dress: H&M (I bought it for 10 dollars. HOLLAH.)
Scarf: Thrifted
Cardigan: My mom's closet.
Tights: Who cares, they're black tights...
Boots: Aldo
And if you haven't seen it already, I'm still writing for Travis Magazine. Somehow, they think I know things about fashion (or at least STYLE) and continue to let me write my little column- Fashion Friday: Go Elf Yourself!
What are y'all doing to get ready for Christmas?
December 01, 2011
Rules and Regulations
It feels really good to be back here blogging and having conversations about life with y'all. I do love me some NaNoWriMo, but I had so many ideas and so much happening that it was hard at times to not update to keep my faithful readers in the loop.
FIRST THING'S FIRST, the most exciting news, I got a job as a freelance writer for The Magazine. That's right. I'm about to be paid for writing things. I'm going to cross the line between, "I'm going to be a writer" and "I write for a few magazines." You know how awesome that is? REALLY AWESOME. The fact that it's for kids makes it even more cool. My first assignment is to write a list of the top ten teams of superheroes. How cool is that?! That is the line between pretension and success. Between talking big and playing hard.
SECONDLY, Jill and I have made up a big system to help me get on the physical fitness track. In three weeks of November alone I lost 6lbs! Basically, my secret is every single weight loss tip you've ever heard. I work out a minimum of 3x a week, alternating between running and yoga to keep it interesting. I eat healthy 6 of the 7 days as much as I can, but I have a cheat day/meal once a week. I drink water and snack on veggies and whole grains and blah blah blah. I have weekly weigh ins and we're taking pictures once a month to photograph the process.
Either way. I know you all didn't come here to read about my writing or my goals, you probably came here to check out my sweet style.
So here it is. Recently, I worked for 9 days in a row, but in between, I got to head into Toronto to see some of my friends, FINALLY. It was a night of magic (literally, we went to a charity magic show) and Thai food, and staying up really late only to get up early.
All the outfit photos were taken by my darling friend Josh, who is as excellent a photographer as he is a quoter of things, a finder of good deals and an eater of delicious foods. Thank you Josh!
FIRST THING'S FIRST, the most exciting news, I got a job as a freelance writer for The Magazine. That's right. I'm about to be paid for writing things. I'm going to cross the line between, "I'm going to be a writer" and "I write for a few magazines." You know how awesome that is? REALLY AWESOME. The fact that it's for kids makes it even more cool. My first assignment is to write a list of the top ten teams of superheroes. How cool is that?! That is the line between pretension and success. Between talking big and playing hard.
SECONDLY, Jill and I have made up a big system to help me get on the physical fitness track. In three weeks of November alone I lost 6lbs! Basically, my secret is every single weight loss tip you've ever heard. I work out a minimum of 3x a week, alternating between running and yoga to keep it interesting. I eat healthy 6 of the 7 days as much as I can, but I have a cheat day/meal once a week. I drink water and snack on veggies and whole grains and blah blah blah. I have weekly weigh ins and we're taking pictures once a month to photograph the process.
Either way. I know you all didn't come here to read about my writing or my goals, you probably came here to check out my sweet style.
So here it is. Recently, I worked for 9 days in a row, but in between, I got to head into Toronto to see some of my friends, FINALLY. It was a night of magic (literally, we went to a charity magic show) and Thai food, and staying up really late only to get up early.
All the outfit photos were taken by my darling friend Josh, who is as excellent a photographer as he is a quoter of things, a finder of good deals and an eater of delicious foods. Thank you Josh!
Blazer: My mom's closet.
Crop Top: Forever 21
Jeans: Forever 21+
Necklace: Forever 21
Boots: Aldo
Bag: Matt and Nat "Karen O" bag
Notes on this outfit:
I know there are certain fashion rules that some people like to abide by. As a current 'plus-sized' or as I say, curvaceous lady, I feel as though sometimes more of these rules are supposed to be applied to my body. Supposed to be are the three key words there.
Among these rules are the idea that I'm not supposed to wear cropped tops or jeans that aren't dark wash. Part of the reason I love outfit (besides James Dean's beautiful face being right next to my boobs) is because it flips the bird to both. I know what my body looks like, and I'm dressing how I want to, not to disguise it.
This is important to me right now because one of the things I've been fighting lately is being able to like myself at the size I am while still being on a self improvement path. It borderlines on hypocritical sometimes... It bothers me to read profiles of people who have lost tons of weight in Women's Health or SELF and they're suddenly buckets happier. I'm sure when I get where I want to be, I'll be happy as hell, but I'm going to still have moments of wobbly insecurity, just like always. This is a band aid fix for confidence. I won't be a gung-ho-calorie-counting-perky-as-hell chick. I will still eat whole eggs instead of just egg whites.
I'm getting really off track here but the point is that...I know I'm not unfortunate. I have lots going for me. (If you're staring at my ass in the second picture instead of reading this, I don't blame you.) But it's hard to find an identity or a home for yourself when you're still traveling down the road.
Crop Top: Forever 21
Jeans: Forever 21+
Necklace: Forever 21
Boots: Aldo
Bag: Matt and Nat "Karen O" bag
Notes on this outfit:
I know there are certain fashion rules that some people like to abide by. As a current 'plus-sized' or as I say, curvaceous lady, I feel as though sometimes more of these rules are supposed to be applied to my body. Supposed to be are the three key words there.
Among these rules are the idea that I'm not supposed to wear cropped tops or jeans that aren't dark wash. Part of the reason I love outfit (besides James Dean's beautiful face being right next to my boobs) is because it flips the bird to both. I know what my body looks like, and I'm dressing how I want to, not to disguise it.
This is important to me right now because one of the things I've been fighting lately is being able to like myself at the size I am while still being on a self improvement path. It borderlines on hypocritical sometimes... It bothers me to read profiles of people who have lost tons of weight in Women's Health or SELF and they're suddenly buckets happier. I'm sure when I get where I want to be, I'll be happy as hell, but I'm going to still have moments of wobbly insecurity, just like always. This is a band aid fix for confidence. I won't be a gung-ho-calorie-counting-perky-as-hell chick. I will still eat whole eggs instead of just egg whites.
I'm getting really off track here but the point is that...I know I'm not unfortunate. I have lots going for me. (If you're staring at my ass in the second picture instead of reading this, I don't blame you.) But it's hard to find an identity or a home for yourself when you're still traveling down the road.
November 29, 2011
NaNoWriMo Update #2
Well, fancy that.EVERYONE CELEBRATE, THIS MEANS REGULAR POSTING CAN CONTINUE AND LIFE IS GOING TO GO ON. YAY!
Last line: "I think I'm going to be okay with that."
EPIC.
EPIC.
November 25, 2011
Things I'm Going to Do in Montreal
I've been thinking a lot lately about my life in Montreal, or hopefully my future life. Maybe it's because things at home haven't been ideal (mama and I have bi-weekly arguments, and they're not bad but they are ridiculous!), or because I'm going to have to start putting my portfolio together to apply to school... Or maybe it's because I've started a new 'program' for my health, and so change has been on the table a lot. Physically changing, mentally changing. My life is getting on the move, slowly, like a turtle with purpose.
And because I'm procrastinating on my NaNoWriMo and everything in between, I've been daydreaming about my future life.
Stuff I'm going to do when I live in Montreal
• Befriend my neighbors... As long as my neighbors are cool. I'll start off by bringing them cookies or something when I move in, and we'll start off being friends that way.
• Become bilingual. Even if it's only French-Canadian.
• Throw a party. I want a purple party, a 1920s Speakeasy party, a pot-luck... Anything like that!
• Meet my gay best friend. He's out there. I know he is!
• Eat in local restaurants that aren't chains...and love the hell out of it.
• Bike lots of places. Become one with my bicycle and local transit.
• Volunteer. Though I would do that probably anywhere!
• Spot Xavier Dolan, Niels Schneider or Jay Baruchel. (Possibly all three?) Srrsly
I don't know why I'm posting this. I just like lists! And...it's my blog!
Also: I realized two the the things that make me really happy are working out (YAY CHEMICAL BALANCE!) and cooking delicious food. So those two either work together or cancel each other out or work together like cool works with awesome. Who knows?
And because I'm procrastinating on my NaNoWriMo and everything in between, I've been daydreaming about my future life.
Stuff I'm going to do when I live in Montreal
• Befriend my neighbors... As long as my neighbors are cool. I'll start off by bringing them cookies or something when I move in, and we'll start off being friends that way.
• Become bilingual. Even if it's only French-Canadian.
• Throw a party. I want a purple party, a 1920s Speakeasy party, a pot-luck... Anything like that!
• Meet my gay best friend. He's out there. I know he is!
• Eat in local restaurants that aren't chains...and love the hell out of it.
• Bike lots of places. Become one with my bicycle and local transit.
• Volunteer. Though I would do that probably anywhere!
• Spot Xavier Dolan, Niels Schneider or Jay Baruchel. (Possibly all three?) Srrsly
I don't know why I'm posting this. I just like lists! And...it's my blog!
Also: I realized two the the things that make me really happy are working out (YAY CHEMICAL BALANCE!) and cooking delicious food. So those two either work together or cancel each other out or work together like cool works with awesome. Who knows?
November 14, 2011
NaNoWriMo Update #1
I've written 21681 words so far. I keep thinking I won't be able to get out another five hundred words, and now, somehow, I'm almost half way...
If you're looking to keep track of my progress while the blog is on semi-hiatus...(Update soon MAYBE, I mean... I feel like I've been bitten by the bug!) my user page is riiiiight HERE. Click click click click.
There's even a tiny excerpt there: But here's a little taste of what I've been working on just for fun. I have to remind me you it's largely raw and unedited, so forgive grammar, and errors in tenses.
If you're looking to keep track of my progress while the blog is on semi-hiatus...(Update soon MAYBE, I mean... I feel like I've been bitten by the bug!) my user page is riiiiight HERE. Click click click click.
There's even a tiny excerpt there: But here's a little taste of what I've been working on just for fun. I have to remind me you it's largely raw and unedited, so forgive grammar, and errors in tenses.
Nobody likes hospitals. Nobody like hospitals here because when they make you wear the gowns, it means you have to take your clothes off. If you’re sick, it means you’re failing at being healthy. If you’re naked, it means you’re failing at being modest. If you choose to eat the food from the cafeteria, you’re failing to recognize the lack of both nutrition and flavour The Uglies hospital is a dismal, but very white, sanitary place.
When I walk in I fill out my form without looking the nurse in the eye. I do sneak a glance at her while she’s looking up my file on the computer screen. She’s an Average. Middle of the road, not pretty but not out of shape. Maybe her nose is a little expressive, but maybe some people like birds more than I do. She has to have something right about her if she’s working in the hospital. Her hair is black. That’s probably the most beautiful thing about her. It’s not from a box drugstore black. It’s real black. That’s sort of rare. They gave her a pass for it, I would too. I’m careful not to touch her when I pass her back the ballpoint pen I had to borrow. She smiles at me, sourly like she smells something bad.
"The doctor will see you in a moment."
Then with the naked. Then with the poking and prodding. The embarrassing feeling of being looked over by someone smarter than me. I wish I had looked up my symptoms on the internet before coming to the hospital. It was probably nothing- a reaction to coconut that I had not had before. An allergy. Something. Nothing could be worth this feeling.
“Try and relax…” I wanted to tell him to shut up. To try not to laugh as I moved onto the table that would take me into the heart of the machine that was going to look at my insides. I was not really worried. After the cold stethoscope and the looking down my throat while I still had breakfast breath, any humiliation from here on in was going to be a piece of cake. Maybe a whole cake, even.
They scan my brain to look for anything unusual. The table I lay on, sliding slowly into the scanner is metal and cold. Wearing the hospital gown is not any less humiliating in a completely horizontal position. Essentially, half naked, I lay, trying to be still, not shiver on the table while waiting for the machine to find out whatever is wrong with my body. Being cold is failing to stay warm. This is why we fail at everything.
In this gown I am as close to naked as I almost ever get—half. I am disgusting, by the standards of 2/3 of our society, the middle and the upper. I close my eyes and breathe out slow as they remove from the bowels of the machine. The doctor sends me away with one reassurance.
“We’ll have the results mailed to you as soon as possible,” when you’re ugly, you get your x-ray results by mail. I wonder if It’s because they don’t want to have to see your face, since everyone already looks horrible when they cry.
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